Anything goes...

I'm super back!

Well hello there my blog, so sorry that I almost neglect and forgot about you. Little "summer" and I are much doing great now that we are approaching the 5th month. I thought everything will last until I pop, but alas things got better and hopefully I'll be back with my normal programing soon.

No we don't know the gender yet, but I loved the name "summer" and so as everyone in the household so we call the little one "baby summer" muna. This second journey is way harder than my journey with D. Luckily, I wasn't ordered to best rest, but I bout with vomiting, acid reflux(yay!) and lots of heartburns everyday! but I don't complain, everything happens for a reason, for whatever it is, (Sana its because we are having a girl) we will welcome it.

There are so many things that I would like to talk about, but I guess this preggy momma's energy couldn't keep up so I'll try to squeeze it in this post. While kuya D is sleeping beside me. (I typed the draft last weekend). 

First, I'd like to talk about my fears. I know it is normal for pregnant mommies, the fear of childbirth, the pain and a lot more... But what I feared most is if I can raise two kids. Really the thought of raising two earthlings frightens me. Being an only child, I don't have any idea how, or if I can do it. I don't know how to treat them equally, or if I can love them fairly. Yes, R and I planned on having 2-3 kids, and now that "summer" is really on the way, I am panicking... nervous... and doubting myself if I can be a good mom. 

I am also happy that D is coping up and getting ready on being a "kuya" soon. At first R and I thought na magwawala siya or he will resist the thought if having a sister/brother soon, but no he's an excited and proud kuya pa. I really pray that my two earthlings will grow up loving, caring and supportive of each other.

Third I confess that I battled pre/post partum depression or whatever they call it. Yes I admit "summer" isn't a planned baby, R and I agreed on having the second baby when he's back from Baguio pa. Me? I have other plans like transferring work, getting my masters, starting a new path etc. So many things that I wanna do that I don't know where to start. Then there is this "hormonal imbalance" thingy that according to my OB explains my irregular monthly visits. Then there is diet plans, hardcore exercises and out of town land trips. And suddenly one day I just had this strange feeling that I might be pregnant, and then poof! Its positive. R was so happy, but I was so depressed. Of course I welcome summer as much as D, I am thankful for our second angel, but I have lots of plans that will now have to wait for the next two years again. I know! It must be the hormones again that are working overtime. I am also engulfed with guilt that I didn't prepared my body for summer, I feel like I am bad mother. But little summer was so strong and so healthy from our first ultrasound, a fighter, and I so thankful for that.  Until one day, I realized during the days of my confusion, I walked into a church and told Him, "kayo na po bahala, whatever your plan is... Just guide me through it..," and "summer" must be an answered prayer. God blessed me to be a mother of an angel again, so whatever His reasons are, or His plans will be I would have to trust him. Everything can wait for the right time. I trust God, for whatever His plans are, it will be the best. Right?!

And of course, I wanna share the excitement of being a mother for the second time. Yes, the feeling of shopping for new maternity clothes again, mas madami na styles ngaun unlike 4 years ago. The joy of scanning the baby's section for new things for summer, the unexplainable feeling of seeing your baby in the ultrasound monitor and hearing the heartbeat from the doopler device. Everything is just like the first time. Not to mention speacial lanes for preggy mommies (lol) and the feeling na gandang-ganda na naman sa akin si R hahahaha. Or maybe I really passed the "lihi" stage na, so no more dramas na, and everyday now is filled with happiness and excitement for little "summer". 

On the other note, here are some of the moments of kuya D. 

His first ever face painting and in character pa. We were surprised that he managed to keep still during the entire painting process. I even asked him, "but hindi ka malikot?!" he said "Malikot din mommy!" haha 

The side story is that "dapat mommy elephant ako, kaya lang hindi marunong si ate, lion nalang pero bakit black ako? e di cat na ako?!"

Last summer was so duper super hot no?! And motto ko nun, di bale ng mamulubi sa meralco bill, wag lang maintain so aircon all the way and peg namin. And the little nugget has his way of cooling off, haha ligo batya everyday! He even managed to dive, swim and sun bathe and relax pa?! lol

Yes, D is the one na naglilikot and demonstrating something like a windmill while the rest of the pre-schoolers are in line for the opening program. Anak ko talaga yan! lol

 And kuya D started school (again) last june. He's so excited that he doesn't want to pose for a picture. Nursery na kami ngaun, and nakakahigh blood na din ang cost ng education talaga db? O well, sabi nga ni R, basta para sa kinabukasan ni D, me? I payed D's tuition fee and other expenses with a prayer na sana pumasok siya araw-araw talaga haha.  And I am so surprised that D can now sit-down in his desk most of the class hours, trace letters and lines and sometimes do color on his own. Big boy na talaga. And hindi na yan nangbubully masyado. 

And thats it.. I hope to really post the things that I plan to post in the coming days.. 

Stay blessed... 

G,