D's Unconditional Love

"Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, it can also be love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, or complete love."

Yesterday, while I was looking for D because he went missing for awhile I saw him entering our gate.  My blood really came to my head, because he went out of the house again unnoticed. Call me OA, but with the news of kidnapping and crimes nowadays, I am really prohibiting D to go out of the house. Daddy R is even teasing me "paarawan mo naman anak mo!". But no, I do not want to take any risk. Anyway, back to the story, when I am about freak-out, he came to me with a puppy face and gave me these little santan flowers and said "I got this for you mom!" My heart melts, and my preggy hormones made me wanna cry again. 

I hugged, kissed and thank him for giving me the flowers, but I told him not to go out of the house again, even if to get me some flowers. Then I put the flowers on the table. Come night time, when we are about to sleep I saw the pieces of the same flowers on the floor, I asked him to move over because  I will clean the room. he got the red pieces of the flowers one by one asked me "You like red lang mommy? eto oh!, ayaw mo na ba flowers? Sira na oh, kukuhanan nailing kita ulet bukas okay?". I felt so guilty. I don't know what happened at nakakalat ung flowers, but I really intend to throw them na, because I thought it was a kalat, but to the eyes of my son, it a gift that I should keep. I was more even moved, because he didn't mind me throwing those flowers, he'll just get some again, he forgave me without me even asking. 

Getting pregnant with babyS, the hormones and the scorching heat and all other factors made me sometimes impatient with D. I remember during the time I wasn't aware that I was pregnant, I always spank D because of little things, I feel guilty after, but then I will do it when he misbehave again. I even justify my acts telling myself that I am the mother, and I need to discipline my son. And every after my monster moments, D will hug me, still love me and be with me like nothing happened. I am still breastfeeding D at night, just to comfort him, I admit I sometimes resent him, but at the end of the day, he will come to me and tell me "I miss you mommy! I will always love you" and will shower me with lots of kisses and hugs. 

The saying "mothers love their children unconditionally" is true, but after contemplating, I realized, Mother do really love their children unconditionally, because their children showed them how to. 

Today, I prayed to God to bless me and my family bags and sacks of patience for our little man. He maybe 3 1/2 years old, eager to explore, would like to try to be an adult, break the rules all the time and test our tempers to the limit, but he still a child that needs to feel all the love from us, especially from me. I also pray that I may be blessed with the capability to raise my kids with love, so they grow up knowing the true meaning of love. 

G, 

Why Babies are so Cute?

Do you wonder why your baby is so cute?

Do you wonder why God gave you a beautiful angel that erases your stress, worries, problems in just one smile?

Why are they so lovable? huggable?

Why do you need to carry them in your womb for 9 months, and you need to suffer sleepless nights just to feed them, to nurse them, to change their nappies and other mommy duties?

 A mentor told me "Because babies are designed to teach you as a mother and your husband to love unconditionally, to develop the bond with your child so that when they grow up your heart is overflowing with love that even if they get rebellious or disrespect you, so have more than enough love to understand, forgive and love them just the way you did when they are still your cutest baby". 

Agree? Make sense right? It's so true, sabi nga nila ang anak matitiis ang magulang, pero ang magulang hindi kayang tiisin ang anak. Whenever I look at baby D sleeping, I always wonder why am I given such an angel, considering all my boo-boos in life. Now I understand more why I have overflowing love for baby D, I am so blessed (of course with having R as well). And now I know why in the eyes of a mother, her baby is the most cutest and beautiful. 

Agree? share your thoughts why do you think babies are so cute?

Best Gift for Baby D

(Series of Learnings from our resource speakers)

I have been doing trainings with my current employer for more than 3 years and conducted hundreds of trainings nationwide. Am I bored? Nah.. What I love about my job is I get to meet a lot of people. I am surrounded with people from all walks of life, wearing different hats and with different kadramahans. But what is the best about it? I get to learn. Yes, learning is a never-ending process especially in real life.

Last Thursday, while waiting for a delayed flight to Kalibo, Aklan (Always delayed!), my resource speaker and I for a particular seminar is having a usual chat about my son. And she said, “You know what is the best gift you can give to your son?” I said having daddy R back in manila, (I thought having a father figure everyday will do). But she said “No, it is showing your son your genuine love with each other everyday until forever”.  I asked why and how.

She said “The love that your son feel between you and his daddy will make him a better person, will make him secure and will make him be able to love genuinely in the future.  Love starts at home and if you do not love your partner truly, you will not be able to withstand the struggles of in-laws, personal differences, cultural backgrounds and other marital problems that lead to separation. A broken family, a loveless home will also make a broken child. “

I feel those words. From a child who grew up with my grandparents because my parents separated, I feel what she said. I also felt the brokenness, the emptiness and the search for love. It’s not that I grew up not loved, Lolo and Inang showered me with genuine love, like I am their youngest daughter, without their guidance, I maybe nothing. Well that deserves another post. But amidst all, something inside is missing. My parents and I still see each other, they provided everything I need and even my wants, but not a family.  So that explains a growing teenager always looking for love. Ako na talaga ang nagka-first bf ay grade 5 pa lang!.  Now I know why, I have been looking for love to other people.

And I don’t want baby D to experience that emptiness. I am sure I love daddy R and I am sure daddy R feels the same. All people who got married are in love. So my next question is “How do we sustain love until eternity?” “How can we stay in love after 50 years?”.

She said “When people get marry, what they feel is more on romance, not pure love.  More on wanting to be together, clinginess and adventure. So when the baby comes, plus the in-laws and imperfection comes, the marriage fails. What they miss is to love and accept the individuality of their partners. They fail to love and accept their partner as a person with imperfections and the rest of his/her baggage in life. And they fail to have faith and make God as the center of their marriage. “

Those words hit me again. I did mention that R and I mastered the art of compromise, and give and take. Most of the time we know which battle we need to fight on. Yes, in 4 years and so… we have learned a lot in handling each other’s imperfections and we are still learning. And I agree that marriage is a never-ending process of learning and discovering ways to love your partner. We are in love everyday, I just don’t know until when. And that’s my greatest fear. To wake-up one day, that R has fallen out of love. And fear for baby D and our family. And knowing that the best gift to my children is “LOVE”, I swear that I will do anything to make the “LOVE” flaming until eternity.

You may say who am I talking about my genuine love to R and baby D for in my early years I am an empty person? Well, I found the right ingredients, the missing part of my life and the last puzzle when after 14 years, my parents reunited. So now that’s what I call true love. And that’s the reason I know that I am capable of loving. Genuinely. And I know this will last until eternity.

All is well.

Happy 56th R!

Dear R, 

Happy 56th! More or less sixty months ago, while I am waiting and praying for the right guy to arrive e padaan-daan ka lang pala sa office everyday. I love to call it destiny. All things happens for a reason, and the rest was history. I never imagined anyone who will love me the way you did, and I will be forever grateful for that. Thank you for the best 56 months that we shared and for the happily ever after Babe. Thank you for endlessly understanding me, my crankiness, my moods and my family. I love how you spoil me even if you are the most kuripot person I know. Thank you for loving me even if I cannot make any single meal for you (except for a sandwich and coffee). Thank you for making me the luckiest and happiest wife everyday. 

I love you to the moon and back. 

P.S I love the watch you gave to me, but I am also waiting for my TB bag. wink!!

G, 

Love Mommy,

Dear Baby D, 

By this time, I know you are playing at home with Tita A, Lolo and Lola. I am writing this because I just miss you so much baby. When you grow-up you will understand why do mommy and daddy are not always at home to play with you. We love to play with you everyday but we need to work hard to give you the best future. I know you always miss daddy R, you always call him when you woke-up in the morning, when you're playing with dedi (teddy), when we are about to sleep, whenever you see my phone with daddy's picture and our portraits. I'm so sorry baby that you always miss daddy, he misses you more baby. Soon you will be able to play with daddy anytime you want, soon baby just wait, remember? All good things come to those who wait. 

You are growing so smart baby, mommy is so proud of you and daddy can't wait to see your new talents. You will be 19 months next sunday, hay time flies so fast, as fast as when you run baby. 

You are still afraid of a lot of things like elevators, mascots (Jolibbee and Mcdo), display manequins, big teddys, dogs and other new things for you. But don't worry baby, mommy is always there for you. I will do anything to shield you from these monsters! haha aawayin natin sila! 

You still love balls, you got it from Lolo and Lola who loves watching basketball games. We also love that because we want a basketball player in the future! You love a lot of things lately, like dedi (teddy), cah (car), bah bah (tabby with minions playing) and playing with different anik-anik at home. It's just mommy sometimes get jealous with dedi, because you always hug and kiss dedi amph. 

But above those things, you love dede the most. Mommy sometimes gets so tired of breastfeeding you, but seeing how you love your dede, how relaxed and satisfied you are everytime you have it, mommy's reklamos are gone. And mommy will give you dede as long as you want baby. 

You are learning a lot, also learning how to be naughty. Last night, you closed our doors to Lolo while he was asking you to play with him. You don't want to be disturbed while you are busy with dede haha. Don't do that again ok?. You also learned to throw things when we told you not to touch them and mommy's cp is your no.1 victim, hay anak. Mommy also tried to discipline you via face/stand in the corner, you willingly obeyed but you are playfully smiling that made mommy laugh. Hay anak, what will mommy do to you? Mommy doesn't want you to grow spoiled, but Lolo wants haha. 

Baby you bring so much happiness in our lives. You made our home noisy with your shouts, giggles and Lola's No!, Come here, don't touch that!, and a lot more. Haha this is the happiest at home since we lived there 20 something years ago, thank you for that baby D. 

Lolo G and Lola L and Nong-nong also misses you, I know you don't see them often that's why you are hesitant to play with them, don't rush baby, its okay. They are so excited to play with you, show them your new talents anak, make them happy also, because they also love you so much. 

Mommy and Daddy R will do the best to make you a better person anak, so be always a good boy. Do not cry if we don't get the ball or car you want at toystores ha? You have lots of toys at home, sirain mo muna yun haha. I love you so much baby...

All is well, 

Love mommy,