Nurturing a child is a no joke. Honestly, D has tested my patience millions times already. It is true that no parenting books nor advices from other parents can teach or prepare you. As a parent to a three year old active, curious, smart and clever boy has always make me and daddy R contemplate if we are doing the right way. I shared how naughty and bully D is. Someone told me he's just discovering so let him be. But some instances are alarming like;
1. Even if you tell him "no" he will still do it. Tell him otherwise, he will stop.
2. If he's eating something prohibited (well at least when I am at home) you will see him hiding under the table, eating or licking lollipops and candies.
3. He says some bad words. Yes playmates' influence.
4. He will not share anything to anyone.
5. So stubborn.
6. and many more in an endless list.
There are lots of factors, including the "grandparents" love, but as a parent I feel that we have a serious responsibility in raising a discipline and well rounded child. But how? Oh well Mr. Google always has the answers. I came upon BabyCentre and it is a good guide in parenting. So I would like to share some ideas on how to consistently discipline your child. I hope this will help struggling parents like us.
1. Choose your priorities
If you try to tackle every discipline challenge at the same time, you'll be too overwhelmed to stick with it. So choose just one or two to focus on with special diligence and attention. It might be defiance, refusing to go to bed or demanding sweets. When these situations arise, be on top of them every single time. Don't give in and don't reward them.
It took me a while to realise that D is just a child and can't multi-task yet. He cannot digest all the sermons and a lot of do's and don'ts. So I did it one at a time. For a week we focused on toilet training, next week on putting back his toys to the basket after playtime, then on wearing slippers at home and list go on. The downside of this is that we can't process bad things that he did that is not the focus. Just make sure you put those issue on the waitlist. And I admit, sometimes I resort into scaring nor bribbing him when I want things to be done quick, which is a no no.
2. Be prepared for the long haul
It can take time to tackle misbehaviour. Put yourself in your child's shoes: "Mummy never used to really mean that she wanted me to brush my teeth until she started shouting. Now she means it the first time she asks. I'm confused." Change can happen, but probably not as quickly as you'd like it to.
D learns fast. So oftentimes I expect him to learn good behaviors and attitudes fast as well. Then I forgot again that I am raising a toddler, and his learning curve is still different. Yes, waiting for the process can test our patience, but, but we have to be. And always remember our parents, nor grandparents favorite line "ganyan ka din nung bata ka" .
3. Get the timing right
It's tempting to try a crash course in manners just before a birthday or family visit, but you'll have better success if you choose a time that's more stable and predictable. Everyone needs time, structure and no extra stress to practise consistency — especially you. So don't jump into a new discipline strategy just before a new baby arrives, or school starts, or if you’re moving house.
Never argue or try to teach your child when he's sleepy, hungry or watching his favorite cartoons, I tell you you will never win. Strategies when is the right time of the day your child will be cooperative. Yes, disciplining a chiild can also be like planning for a major project.
4. Expect resistance
Your child will challenge you no matter how consistent you are. Or he may respond well from the start, only to fall back into old habits. Don't despair – this kind of periodic testing is normal. Once you accept these temporary regressions, they'll be less frustrating, allowing you to stay on track.
Teaching a threenager means endless reasoning and conversations of whys and why nots. I got use to it that I now have my back up plans. Never give up.
5. Don't try to go it alone
Once you commit to a consistency campaign, get backup. Your partner and your child's teachers, carers and grandparents can all reinforce your efforts to stop behaviour problems.
Make sure you inform the rest of the household what you are training or teaching to your child. This is avoid confussion and to also involve everyone in the process. This can also be a warning to grandparents that keeps spoiling their second babies. And on occassions that you loose your patience, there will be someone who be in control of the situation.
6. Bend the rules occasionally
Accidental inconsistency – when you're too busy or preoccupied to enforce a rule – sends the message that it isn't really important to you, which encourages your child to ignore it too. But intentional inconsistency – when you let your child know in advance that you’ve chosen to make an exception – can actually strengthen a rule. For example: "As you'll be spending time with Nana and Grandad this week, you don’t have to tidy your bedroom until next week."
D loves his lolo and daddy R because they are the ones breaking the rules once D cries or make lambing. Me? I try so had not to give in because I want to reinforce discipline to D, but during those times that he's extra sweet and obidient I also give him a chocoloate surprise. I call that conditioning surprise. Haha
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I use these points as guide, but remember that every child is different. So goodluck to us parents.
You can view the whole article here;
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1022314/keeping-discipline-consistent?scid=gb_en_bulletin_toddler_preschooler#ixzz3UtH8gKPh
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