My Mommy Woes

I love my job, I love to do trainings and traveling to diffferent places. I love the idea of exploring different areas and cultures. I am always ready to explore. I am always on the go. Until I became mother to baby D. Now, no more flight extensions, as much as possible I haggle to get assignments on areas that I can do fly in and fly out. Whenever we board the plane, I always pray na sana I can come back safe for baby D.

I still love my job, I still enjoy what I do and the fullfillment I get every after completed training, but I the guilt that I feel everytime I leave the house for a 3-4days trip makes me wanna think of shifting career or staying at home.

The idea of baby d crying at night looking for me or his dede (i still breastfeed) makes me cry alone at night. Am not a good mother because I always leave? I just want to provide the best things and better future to my son.

Baby D's Language Development

Baby D's language development is working so fast this month. Although may mga words pa din siya na hindi masabi at hindi ko maintindihan, nonetheless my fear na slow ng development niya ay napawi na. As a working and studying mom, hearning baby D say new words every day is a happy moment for me, kahit not so new na sa bahay.

My anu daw moments;

- - - - - - - -
I came home early last week, hence naabutan ko ang teledrama sa TV.
D: Nina! nina!
Me: Anu daw?!
Ung Anakarenina pala na teleserye! alam nya!

- - - - - - - -
One time pagdating ko sa bahay,
D: pam! pam!
Me: Anu daw?!
Magpupump pala ako! haha usually kasi pagdating ko sa bahay,nakadikit na yan sa akin I tell him magpupump muna si mommy ng dede mo ha? dun ka muna kay Tita A.

- - - - - - - -
While I'm bathing him, ang bilis kasi tumakbo..
Me: Slowly D!
D: slowwyyy

- - - - - - - -
Everynight, kapag gising pa si D nagbaby talk kami.
Me: Naligo ka ba kanina?
D: nknf;lafmne;l
Me: Kumain ka na ba?
D: lfenfameafml'l;amfla
Me: Anu ginawa mo kanina?
D: naen;fm;
Me: Anu daw? haha

Pero one time;
Me: Naglaro ka ba sa labas kanina?
D: jslfl; JO lsflekle Bike
Me: Anu daw? !
Haha naglaro pala sila ni Josh sa labas, si Josh nagbibike. At least he's making sense na.

And he's begining to imitate words, I'm so happy and impresed.

- - - - - - - -
Me: Say "Thank you!"
D: Thunks!
D: T U
hahahaha

- - - - - - - -
Me: Anu sabi ni Lola?
D: Blah Blah blah

Lolo: Anu sabi ni mommy?
D: Diong (Deion!)

Marunong na mang-asar?! hahaha

- - - - - - - -
He's playing with the water while i'm bathing him
D: Mamam
Me: No, water
D: Mamam
Me: water
D: mamam! mamam! mamam!
Ang kulit lang! cge na nga! mamam na!

- - - - - - - -
While baby D and Tita A are eating biscuits... e biglang naubos na
D: (run towards the tindahan) papay! papay!
haha nabitin sa tinapay? at alam na sino may sala kapag nalugi tindahan ng lola niya!

- - - - - - - -
While baby D is so naglilikot...
Me: D come here may sasabihin si mommy... (and I whisper I love you to his ears)
D: (Hugged me tight and kissed me)

Aw! really warms and melts my heart. I love being a mom!. 

Baby D is getting a handful already, I don't know if I should be worried or not. During sunday mass and his check-up at hospital even though he's the smallest among the kids there, siya naman ang pinaka-maingay at malikot. #teerible two na talaga!

Nalasing sa chukie! we were at the grocery last weekend, malayo pa kami nakita na niya si chuh (chukie) at naubos na niya hindi pa namin nababayaran. Hay baby... 

All is well, 

G

Baby D at 20 months!

Babies really grow-up fast! Four months from now, baby D will be celebrating his 2nd year birthday, yay! will I start planning for his 2nd year birthday? hay... I miss baby D's baby smell, well, I always miss his maasim smell everyday. Work, school and everyday traffic steals my bonding time with my bebeko. Guilty momma in me is missing a lot of his milestones. 

Baby D is so malambing, sometimes yayakap siya, minsan naman sasabunutan ako. 

Baby D's first time sa bookstore. Nakakaloka he wants to get all the books, at itapon sa floor. 

He steals my ponytail and used it as his necklace. 

Me: D where's the frog? (we have animals drawing at our walls)

D: went around the room and get coco (our crocodile) haha

At for Nth time, tinapon na naman niya phone ko, so I asked him to face the wall. Kaso nagpose sa wall naman siya. 

He wants dede, kaso I said kinuha na ng cat ung dede niya kasi bigboy na siya, so he hugged me to get his dede back. 

Someones is enjoying barney for the nth time! at nakataas pa talaga ang paa. 

Chocolates?

Like daddy like baby. I love you both!

And ohhh... baby no more. He can now eat on his own. Literally, I wanna cry when I saw him eating alone. He's now getting independent. Good boy, my Big Boy. 

And for weeks, I'm looking for his powder. As in muntik na akong bumili ng bago. And when I'm looking for his panjama, tada! tinago pala niya!

Baby D's language development is also growing fast! He can now say a lot of things aside from mommy, daddy, lolo, lola and bola. 

- Ti-ta ( Tita A)

- Totoy (turtle)

- Oy (horse)

- Bike

- Dyong (Deion)

- Po-po (Upo)

- Po (Polbo)

- Popo (pororo)

- Baba (Buksan)

- Tatay, Nanay (I dont know if alam na niya ibig sabihin)

- Gah (Lolo E)

- Yna (Lola L)

- Os (Tita A)

- Ga (Mommy G)

- Dah (duck)

- Shus (Shoes)

- Papay (tinapay)

- Eiiw (if ikikiss siya ng daddy niya)

- Jus (juice)

- Gulay

- Fishsh 

He can also may pasikat na!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Me: D anu sabi ng Dog?

D: Dogie? Aw, Aw

Me: Anu sabi ng Cat?

D: Meow

Me: ng Bird?

D: Twit, twit

Me: ng Goat?

D: Meehh

Me: ng Cow?

D: Moooh

Me: ng Chicken? 

D: Tikitik (dapat tiktilaok yan)

Me: ng Frog?

D: Kokok

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Me: D, Let's count.. 

D: tu, tu, re, fah (with matching hand gestures pa yan)

- - - - - - - - - - - -

• He's also masunurin, you can ask him to turn-off the TV, electricfan and lights. 
• Kapag nag-ring ung CP ko automatic kukunin niya un agad and will say "daddy,daddy"
• He's still into throwing things! specially cellphones. 
• He knew how to kiss na! pero selected moments lang. 
• He's into watching numbers video and alphabet videos

Un lang, he's weight is stunted. Since 13 months he's 10kgs. na, and his weight ranges from 10-10.5-11kgs. only. Panu he's so malikot and active. And I read somewhere that breasfeed babies are really lean. I wanna ditch the growth charts na nga sana, kaso he's pedia discussed the possibility of Primary Complex, and the idea itself is super scary for me. Hay wag naman sana, kaso he's not gaining weigth nga and he has history of frequent coughs. Praying.. praying...

Dear Baby D, 

You will always be my baby forever anak. I love you so much. And mommy will do anything to shield you. 

Mommy, 

Sweet Travels: Ati-Atihan Festival Hostel, Kalibo Aklan

One of the best beach in the world is Boracay. The sun, sand and scenery is the best. We all know that Boracay is located at Kalibo, Aklan and put to much emphasis on the beach itself that we fail to see that the whole province of Kalibo has so much in store for us. So the opportunity of work and travel in Kalibo is something that I look forward to this September. 

And someone wants to come. Hay #workingmomblues. But he's so cute, when I was packing my things, pinagkakasya din niya sarili niya sa bag ko.

We stayed and conducted the seminar at Ati-Ahihan Festival Hostel in the heart of Kalibo, Aklan. I love that everything is near in the hotel. We went to the market ng naglalakad lang! The hotel staffs are also friendly and accommodating. They serve good food and they also owned Bread&Butter bread house so may instant pasalubong center na din!

Posted at their lobby is the humble and inspirational beginings of the grandfather of the owner. 

And as the hotel named. There are lots of ati-atihan mask in the area. 

Colorful. I just missed to take a picture inside. #shyblogger lang. 

Lovely chadelier at the second floor where rooms are located. 

Facade at the second floor. Very homey ang peg. 

The hotel is just 2 years old. It used to be a bookstore, then renovated into a hotel and conference center. It's nice to know that there  are budding hotels in Kalibo where you can have conferences aside from Boracay. Read: Lahat ng participants nasa venue lang kasi walang beach. 

Lemme tour you to their room. 

mini dinning. 

Dresser. I love the flowers. 

Fresh and Clean CR with seperate shower area. 

Comfy bed. 

And what's a travelling momma without my  breastfeeding/expressing gears?

Insulated Bag. This can fit 8-16 bags of milk, and still fresh and chilled until I got home. 

Tip: I don't freeze my milk during local trips, usually 6-8days naman ang milk refrigirated lang. And freshly expressed milk is much better than frozen ones. 

So I just used icepacks to transport my fresh milks. The coldness usually last 4-7 hours.

So land travel to airport=1hour

waiting at the airport=2hours

plane travel=1 hour

travel from airport to home=2hours

Un lang, I keep on praying so flights will be on time.

My pumping gear. 

Sealed in airtight container. 

Milk bags. 

Pumps' spare parts. 

I learned my lesson na, its so hassle when you are in a trip then suddenly your pump bagged down. So painful and panira din ng plans. 

Yun lang, since the hotel is relatively new, the rooms are not provided with refrigirators yet. But the staffs are accommodating naman, and they offered kitchen ref to store my BM's, but the OC in me opted to throw my GoldMilk nalang.

 

Inside the room, they have the recommended places in Kalibo that you may visit. It's just unfortunate that our event ends at 5:30pm so there is not much time to roam around. And the establishments in the city proper closes at 5pm. Parang office hours lang!

But, But! We had a chance to see their plaza.

I told our coordinator nga, that this what I miss, and I'm dreaming that baby D will have a place to go to like this, hindi puro malls. A place where baby D can run and run and play free. #dreamingforabetterenvironemnt

We also visited their church. 

Huge and beautiful church. I made my wish. 

During my 2days stay in Kalibo Aklan, I feel that the province has much more to offer other than the Boracay beach. Maybe the local government or the private sector in the province can propose city tours in Kalibo before heading to Boracay, hindi yung dinadaanan lang ang Kalibo going to Boracay. The city has much more to offer. The environment, people, delicacies and historical places are worth visiting. 

All is well. 

Best Gift for Baby D

(Series of Learnings from our resource speakers)

I have been doing trainings with my current employer for more than 3 years and conducted hundreds of trainings nationwide. Am I bored? Nah.. What I love about my job is I get to meet a lot of people. I am surrounded with people from all walks of life, wearing different hats and with different kadramahans. But what is the best about it? I get to learn. Yes, learning is a never-ending process especially in real life.

Last Thursday, while waiting for a delayed flight to Kalibo, Aklan (Always delayed!), my resource speaker and I for a particular seminar is having a usual chat about my son. And she said, “You know what is the best gift you can give to your son?” I said having daddy R back in manila, (I thought having a father figure everyday will do). But she said “No, it is showing your son your genuine love with each other everyday until forever”.  I asked why and how.

She said “The love that your son feel between you and his daddy will make him a better person, will make him secure and will make him be able to love genuinely in the future.  Love starts at home and if you do not love your partner truly, you will not be able to withstand the struggles of in-laws, personal differences, cultural backgrounds and other marital problems that lead to separation. A broken family, a loveless home will also make a broken child. “

I feel those words. From a child who grew up with my grandparents because my parents separated, I feel what she said. I also felt the brokenness, the emptiness and the search for love. It’s not that I grew up not loved, Lolo and Inang showered me with genuine love, like I am their youngest daughter, without their guidance, I maybe nothing. Well that deserves another post. But amidst all, something inside is missing. My parents and I still see each other, they provided everything I need and even my wants, but not a family.  So that explains a growing teenager always looking for love. Ako na talaga ang nagka-first bf ay grade 5 pa lang!.  Now I know why, I have been looking for love to other people.

And I don’t want baby D to experience that emptiness. I am sure I love daddy R and I am sure daddy R feels the same. All people who got married are in love. So my next question is “How do we sustain love until eternity?” “How can we stay in love after 50 years?”.

She said “When people get marry, what they feel is more on romance, not pure love.  More on wanting to be together, clinginess and adventure. So when the baby comes, plus the in-laws and imperfection comes, the marriage fails. What they miss is to love and accept the individuality of their partners. They fail to love and accept their partner as a person with imperfections and the rest of his/her baggage in life. And they fail to have faith and make God as the center of their marriage. “

Those words hit me again. I did mention that R and I mastered the art of compromise, and give and take. Most of the time we know which battle we need to fight on. Yes, in 4 years and so… we have learned a lot in handling each other’s imperfections and we are still learning. And I agree that marriage is a never-ending process of learning and discovering ways to love your partner. We are in love everyday, I just don’t know until when. And that’s my greatest fear. To wake-up one day, that R has fallen out of love. And fear for baby D and our family. And knowing that the best gift to my children is “LOVE”, I swear that I will do anything to make the “LOVE” flaming until eternity.

You may say who am I talking about my genuine love to R and baby D for in my early years I am an empty person? Well, I found the right ingredients, the missing part of my life and the last puzzle when after 14 years, my parents reunited. So now that’s what I call true love. And that’s the reason I know that I am capable of loving. Genuinely. And I know this will last until eternity.

All is well.

Sweetie's Easy Frosting

I love to DIY, but DIY doesn't love me. 

Nung magsabog yata ng creativity sa mundo ay tulog pa ako haha. Sometimes I feel bad, not really gifted eh chos! but.. but I am trying... specially ngaun na I have baby D na, I want to personalize everything for him, So I did some DIY's for baby D's 1st birthday party. I did my best! And really kahit hindi masyadong perfect it feels good that you worked hard for your baby. Yun lang really school and work is really hectic that I still can't find time to post my DIYs. Will do it soon, why? kasi blog posts of mommy's helped me a lot. And thru researching and trial and error I also discoved techniques that I want first time moms also to pick-up.

My DIY cupcake tower themed CARS on baby D's 1st birthday. 

DIY cupcake stand from Chocoloate Lovers

Cars pictures from google images

Instand frosting from Landmark. 

I failed to do detailed documentation when we are making those spell busy and hagardness. So last weekend, I tried to recreate the cupcakes.

This is my heat resistant bowl. I also used it to melt chocolates for my DIY chocopops, chocololipops. 

Pipping Tip from Chocolate Lovers also. I picked the big and small to make designs. 

Disposable pipping bag. 

Sprinkles. 

Colorful Chocolate Balls. 

Frosting Mixture. 

This is actually a ready made frosting, all you need is to add cold water and whip it. 

Un lang, this is not recommended to be stored pala, mine is tumigas. Kaya hindi ko napipe ng maayos during this recreation, bad. 

Food Coloring. 

Cupcakes!!!! These are actually store bought ready cupcakes, saves the time promise. 

I wanna show you baby D muna, muntik na malaglag sa bed. I left him to make the cucakes, kaso likot talaga, pero masarap pa din tulog. Ang cute tingnan matulog ng mga bata noh?

And tada! best paired with macaroni spagetti. 

noms.noms. 

All is well, 

G.