(Series of Learnings
from our resource speakers)
I have been doing trainings with
my current employer for more than 3 years and conducted hundreds of trainings
nationwide. Am I bored? Nah.. What I love about my job is I get to meet a lot
of people. I am surrounded with people from all walks of life, wearing
different hats and with different kadramahans.
But what is the best about it? I get to learn. Yes, learning is a never-ending
process especially in real life.
Last Thursday, while waiting for a
delayed flight to Kalibo, Aklan (Always delayed!), my resource speaker and I
for a particular seminar is having a usual chat about my son. And she said, “You know what is the best gift you can give
to your son?” I said having daddy R back in manila, (I thought having a
father figure everyday will do). But she said “No, it is showing your son your genuine love with each other everyday
until forever”. I asked why
and how.
She said “The love that your son feel between you and his daddy will make him a
better person, will make him secure and will make him be able to love genuinely
in the future. Love starts at home
and if you do not love your partner truly, you will not be able to withstand
the struggles of in-laws, personal differences, cultural backgrounds and other
marital problems that lead to separation. A broken family, a loveless home will
also make a broken child. “
I feel those words. From a child
who grew up with my grandparents because my parents separated, I feel what she
said. I also felt the brokenness, the emptiness and the search for love. It’s
not that I grew up not loved, Lolo and Inang showered me with genuine love,
like I am their youngest daughter, without their guidance, I maybe nothing.
Well that deserves another post. But amidst all, something inside is missing.
My parents and I still see each other, they provided everything I need and even
my wants, but not a family. So
that explains a growing teenager always looking for love. Ako na talaga ang nagka-first bf ay grade 5 pa lang!. Now I know why, I have been looking for
love to other people.
And I don’t want baby D to
experience that emptiness. I am sure I love daddy R and I am sure daddy R feels
the same. All people who got married are in love. So my next question is “How
do we sustain love until eternity?” “How can we stay in love after 50 years?”.
She said “When people get marry, what they feel is more on romance, not pure
love. More on wanting to be
together, clinginess and adventure. So when the baby comes, plus the in-laws
and imperfection comes, the marriage fails. What they miss is to love and
accept the individuality of their partners. They fail to love and accept their
partner as a person with imperfections and the rest of his/her baggage in life.
And they fail to have faith and make God as the center of their marriage. “
Those words hit me again. I did
mention that R and I mastered the art of compromise, and give and take. Most of
the time we know which battle we need to fight on. Yes, in 4 years and so… we
have learned a lot in handling each other’s imperfections and we are still
learning. And I agree that marriage is a never-ending process of learning and
discovering ways to love your partner. We are in love everyday, I just don’t
know until when. And that’s my greatest fear. To wake-up one day, that R has
fallen out of love. And fear for baby D and our family. And knowing that the
best gift to my children is “LOVE”, I swear that I will do anything to make the
“LOVE” flaming until eternity.
You may say who am I talking
about my genuine love to R and baby D for in my early years I am an empty
person? Well, I found the right ingredients, the missing part of my life and
the last puzzle when after 14 years, my parents reunited. So now that’s what I
call true love. And that’s the reason I know that I am capable of loving.
Genuinely. And I know this will last until eternity.
All is well.
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