Dear BabyS,

Dear Summer,

You are probably napping inside mommy's tummy while I sentimentally write this letter. Sleep well baby, we are in for the best adventures when you come out, and I can't wait also. You are a bit shy and pilya during your ultrasound, you are very much like mommy baby, but don't worry you will overcome that. I am so looking forward to finally hold you in my arms, to finally breastfeed you, shower you with lots of kisses and sing an un-tuned lullaby for you to sleep. 

I'm sorry if sometimes I make you feel that I don't want you or I am not yet ready for you, you know mommy has so many plans before you came. So many plans that I don't know where to start, maybe that's why God blesses us with you so daddy and I can slow down and re align our lives. I may forget to take care of you and my self sometimes but that doesn't mean I love you less, I love you as much as I love your daddy and kuya, I am just afraid of my own ghosts baby, so please forgive mommy okay?

You know what baby? I have so many fears that is keeps me awake at night and sometimes stresses me, but when I feel you move inside me, you are a simple miracle that always reminds me that everything will be alright.

I fear a lot for your health baby, knowing the activities I did, the travels, and the stress I had before I found that you are in my tummy. I pray a lot that in spite all of that, you will be healthy and free from any problems. I also fear for the labor pains again baby, but together, we can do it right? I know you are one fighter and survivor baby, share mommy some of that fighting spirit when you are about to say hi to the world okay?

Yes baby, one of my ghosts is if I can really take care of you and kuya at the same time. You know that I grew up alone. And I don't know how it feels like to have a sister or a bother at home. I don't know how to do it, how to manage two kids and if I am capable of raising two kids. I am sorry if I get emotional because of that, so I always pray to God to bless me with lots of capability to love, bags and sacks of patience and baskets of energy to keep up with you guys. I know you are not impossible to love baby, and you will help me thru this. I'm sorry baby, but please understand mommy, and I will do all my best to love you and kuya as much as I can.

I'm sorry little princess if mommy stresses you with my own ghosts. But believe me,  I am so excited for you, for our adventures, for our bonding moments and I am so preparing for you. But do not go out yet baby, not yet. We will wait until you are healthy and strong enough for the real world. Do not be afraid, KuyaD will be your protector and Daddy R will be the best and sweetest daddy. 

I love you so much Summer, 

Mommy G,