Sweet Talk: Better World

Even others will not believe, I have a soft heart especially sa mga beggars, I don't know but I always imagine what if ako ung nasa lugar nila? Or si baby D? Even my closest relatives. Or maybe I can relate with them, dumaan din naman ako sa phase na walang makain nung college days ko dahil ubos na allowance ko.

But even having this feeling, never pa naman ako nagbigay sa kanila. That is why sometimes I feel guilty din,baka they really need the money.  Kaso madami talagang nanamantala lang. And what bothers me is they use elders or babies para mas mukhang nakakaawa sila.

I believe kasi that the more you are giving them, the more that they will continue doing it. Namimihasa. And to think they are doing it in unsafe places. So napapahamak lang sila lalo.

Just like yesterday, a mother with two kids called me, "miss...miss..". I know they will ask for a pamasahe or help for money. Nabiktima na din ako dati nung wala pa akong malay sa manila, take note nagbigay ako ng pera kahit wala na akong allowance. Naawa kasi ako sa matanda na wala na "daw" pamasahe na pupuntahan niya dapat ang anak na nagwowork sa department store kaso nalipat na daw, hindi na siya makakauwi.

And also, those indigents na sasakay sa jeep giving envelopes then andami nila sinasabi na you can't understand. Sometimes they will force you to give them. And kapag hindi mo binigyan, sila pa ang galit. Naisip ko tuloy, ayaw na ba nila sa lugar nila? Bakit at paano sila napunta dito sa manila? 

I feel bad.

I feel bad dahil naawa ako sa mga bata at matatanda na nagagamit.

I feel bad that they need to use our feelings para makapanloko.

I feel bad that as much as I want to help them, pinipigilan ko sarili ko because that will give them reasons to continue their deed.

I am not in the position to help them, but I can assist. I know, my dream career in social work is haunting me again. Even if my career and plans of going back to school plus motherhood is taking most of my time, those incidents made me realize I want to do some social works again. And here I am, talking about plans again, ang gusto ko lang naman is to make the world better for baby D. Ayoko in the future maloko din si baby D. And I must act now. My small steps will be part of the empowerment the society needs to aleviate these people. To make this world a better place. Yan ang nagagawa ng motherhood. 

Laters!